So I stumbled on stories.ng this morning, thanks to @Ms_DHK’s tweet. She blogs at thepurplesuitcasediary.wordpress.com by the way. For about 3 hours I’ve been reading end of the year stories; people sharing how their 2015 was. Some of them were touching and inspiring. Most made me realize that many of us go through the same struggles. Anyway, I’ve been inspired to write about my 2015 too!!! ^_^
I don’t have anything inspiring to share with you but I’ll make a list of things I’d like to remember of this year and things I’ve learned.
1. I graduated this year. Hell yea!!!!! 😀 But then the university gave me a job with their campus radio station so I’m still in the same environment I so desperately wanted to never see again. And then there’s the possibility of doing my service year here. Arrgh. I dunno men. I mean, teaching in a remote village doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. Maybe.
2. I fought a lot with myself this year. The typical mind versus heart battle. I think my spirit might have joined in too. This was the year of “the Great Silence”. Lasted 12 freaking weeks! Those weeks were alright though. There were laughs and smiles, anger and despair, but in the end it was alright. Most things are alright with me and I hope things will always be alright no matter how bad they get. Alright for me means hoping, smiling, being content and daring to dream no matter what. So yes, about the 12 weeks. I’ll talk about that some other time maybe but one lesson I took from that episode is “don’t say goodbye if you’re not ready, you’ll only run back.”
3. This year my cousin got married and it was a beautiful wedding. I took something from that too. We are getting old!!!!!😭 Lol. I turned 20 this year and I don’t like being an adult. It’s a scam I tell ya! Responsibilities here and there. You’ll probably say I’m still very young but I can’t get over the feeling that time is running out too fast. You can’t imagine how it feels when someone says I look older than I am 😥 . I look my age by the way😑. It was a year of weddings for my classmates as well! Two of these weddings are spilling into the first week of 2016 though. I’ve got to be at both my babies’ weddings 😘. My yellow babies, Jane and Maureen. I still don’t know what I’ll wear!!
4. Another major part of my year was my final year project. Let me just salute my supervisor, Mr Okoye. Happy weekend sah!!! Lol.
5. Let’s fast forward to the time I spent with Splendid (Oghenekpeme). This is one great human being. One of those people I’ll always care about. We annoy each other and enjoy each other’s company. We were gonna serve together and share an apartment. I still like the idea of that.
6. I think I learned a bit how to deal with fear. Sometimes, you have to push yourself to do what you want to do. Take risks (only if you can deal with the consequences) and just stop feeling small! Figure out what’s important to you and go for it. We beat ourselves down sometimes with fear. That’s no place to live. I hate it. Sometimes you need to be your own hero.
7. You can’t change people. We just are who we are. Sometimes, we want someone to be a better version of themselves but the best thing to do at that point is appreciate and accept them for who they are. Enjoy their company while they’re still there.
8. Don’t give up. Ever. Find the will and push yourself. The road was never intended to be smooth. Except what you’re fighting for is really not worth it. Push but don’t force.
9. Don’t let emotions blind you but then allow yourself to be vulnerable. You won’t truly be happy if you don’t open yourself to pain and sadness. You can’t close yourself to one end of the spectrum without closing yourself to the other end.
10. Give freely. By giving, I don’t just mean materially. Give your time, your love, your energy. But be wise about it. You have to give yourself before others, after all you can’t give what you don’t have.
11. Don’t lose yourself trying to “discover” yourself. Try to build yourself instead.
12. It’s intoxicating being the bad guy/girl. Funny. I think most villains deep down just want acknowledgment. It’s a scam though. It’s more liberating being the good guy/girl. Try it.
13. My favourite books this year! A Song of Ice and Fire, Jon Snow must come back!!! Malazan Book of the Fallen, only read the first part, must read the rest in 2016!!! (In Sha Allah :D) Mario Puzo’s Fools Die, Merlyn and Osano!!! Steven King’s Dolores Claiborne, Duhhhllooreeees!! Read it!!!
14. I should have started watching Naruto earlier!!!:'(
15. Still so much to say but let’s stop at 15 cos it’s 2015😆.