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Maybe I’m feeling nostalgic or something but this was my first post published over a year ago. Enjoy…:)
Life is hard. Yes it’s true. While Chi Chi, Onyi, Ada, and Ngozi are getting married, some of us are just here staring at our bare fingers, day-dreaming about the size of the ring when it comes…and Lord, please let it come now!
As predicted when we first started school, some of my classmates have gotten married in our final year, and even more are engaged. Now, some people might say, “why didn’t they finish school first,” and others, “oh, that’s nice, a woman shouldn’t waste time.” Well, this is not an argument about whether they should get married or not (I really don’t think it’s anyone’s business), it’s about what this is doing to “the other girls”.
Let me explain what I mean: Imagine that Ada is engaged and would be getting married, but her friend, Oge, doesn’t even have a reasonable boyfriend/toaster. What do you think will happen? Of course, Oge will get jealous, and this does not necessarily mean that Oge is a bad person. Even worse than getting jealous, Oge might just hop on the next marriageable guy that comes her way. Marriageable to her might mean a guy that’s about 10 years her senior and “can take care of her.” She may not mind that she doesn’t really love him or that he seems to have a temper, or he thinks she has “k-leg”. OR she would get into her next relationship, expecting marriage right from the start, and always analysing the guy’s ability to take care of her.
This does not affect Oge alone, it affects many of the girls in class. You begin to hear things like, “this one wey everybody dey marry, when my own dey come na?” Or “my dear, your friend is getting married o, when should we be expecting yours?” And the rest who do not say anything are secretly praying for their own husband to come.
Girls, listen up! It is good to get married but there is time for everything and everybody’s time is different. You shouldn’t be worried about marriage at 19 or 20, you have your whole life ahead of you! Focus on your education and making yourself successful, most men don’t want a liability. Besides, who on earth told you that you need a man to make you happy? Just take it one step at a time and when the right man comes, you’ll be ready.
“I can’t befriend you if you don’t propose to me,
If you didn’t know, wo, aburo mi ti marry.”
- – Falz (Marry Me)